"So that all meetings may be conducted in a disorderly manner, with due disrespect for propriety and dignity, the following rules for the unruly are hereby established by universal consent, with the minority ruling and the majority dissenting.

Point of harassment: Each participant shall have the right to introduce irrelevant motions for the sole purpose of delaying the meeting. It is only permissible to resort to a point of harassment when the outcome of an imminent vote is obvious…

Point of redundant information: This is not to be confused with the more familiar "point of information". A point of redundant information entitles the participant to tell people in a meeting something they already know, and to take ten minutes to do so when two would probably suffice…

Point of pious posturing: This motion entitles the participant to make references to any teaching in the bible or another authority that allegedly supports his or her point of view. A correct quotation, however, immediately disqualifies the point and is cause for expelling the person from the meeting…

Point of grudge: This motion entitles the participant to raise a decision which was made by a previous board not less than ten years ago, for which the participant had not forgiven those involved…

It is hoped that prompt and wide distribution of these rules will serve to make meetings as disorderly and chaotic as they can be, so they are more reflective of true human nature, and so that meetings deliver absolutely no return on investment to the organization".

Eli Mina is a professional meeting chairman, Registered Parliamentarian, seminar leader, and a leading expert on meetings and rules of order. He specializes in chairing contentious meetings, demystifying and humanizing the rules of order, resolving organizational disputes, and shared decision making. Further explore Eli's website for more details on Eli's work and his books. To sign up for his free e-mail newsletter, click here.